Office by Alex Penny
ismycopilot at gmaildotcom
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in that same waiting room some dude walked out of the back and asked me how old Saxon is? Because he looks like a small lab. He can only see Saxon’s head and lanky front legs, the rest of him is tucked under my chair.
Saxon is the biggest dog our puppy club has had in roughly 5 years. I tell the man that Saxon is almost 17 months and weighs 71 pounds. He says his lab is bigger - apparently this is a contest? I smiled but really that dude can eat sh*t and die.
When I stopped for dinner a woman commented that Saxon is HUGE. I laughed and told her what had just happened.
She laughed too. People are weird.
my dad was a vietnam vet, so.
the other day my mom and I were sitting in the waiting room for her joint doctor, surrounded by old people whose joints had also been replaced with metal. A Very Old Man walks by with a walker and a nurse carrying his oxygen supply. He is wearing a world war II veteran’s hat. I looked at my mom and assured her that had my dad still been alive, I would have made him wear one of those damn war vet hats as an old man. It would have embarrassed the crap out of him.
We had a good laugh at his expense. :)
Unknown players, unknown year. Redondo Beach, CA.
“oh my god we’re never going to leave this waiting room are we?” - Saxon
—
Irving, A Prayer For Owen Meany
Here’s my day: wake up, 8 AM, feed dog, make coffee.
Dick around until 10 AM
Pay tuition, credit card bill, re-register for standardized test, order books, check webct, see that I got 100% on all my work so far this quarter. Feel like a champion.
12:40 PM - tweet this, enjoy homemade chicken noodle soup, watch it rain. Life is good.
12:41 - 5:18 PM - watch Investigation Discovery Channel while sitting under blanket on the floor and cuddling with Saxon and Hero. Contemplate getting dressed, finishing leash projects. Do one load of laundry, continue to feel like a champion.
5:19 PM - decide to check webct again for tomorrow’s schedule since I know this professor likes to assign papers every week and that they take forever because I have ADD.
5:20 PM - realize this “online class” is actually “on” Monday and it was only Tuesday last week because of MLK.
5:21 PM - have minor heart attack at the fact that I’ve screwed myself over, continue making dinner for bedridden mother.
5:22 PM - have minor heart attack #2 when I check webct email from professor commending me on my wonderful writing skills of last week’s assignment, she’s so glad to have me in class again! NO PRESSURE, THANKS!
5:23 PM - re-read assignment, which consists of three parts and OH YEAH there’s a quiz tonight too. say fuck fuck fuckity fuck a million times in my head, put on my smart lady glasses, write write write read read read.
7:58 PM - finish with 2 minutes to spare. not exactly my best work but it’s better than a big fat zero. Receive quiz, spew answers upon it from everything crammed into it over the last 2 hours and 35 minutes. Cry a little inside because that was the dumbest thing I’ve done in a long time.
8: 40 PM - blog about it.
They could just skip this part and say you’ll need to click reset password every time you want to log in.
—
Yann Martel, Life of Pi
