December 2009
44 posts
Why Elitism is OK
osmium:
Driving from Cleveland to New York City—home from the holidays—we stopped for gas in Clearfield, PA. It was at a no-nonsense truck stop called Gas or something like that. Right after I finished and closed up the gas tank, a state trooper pulled in on the other side of the pump and started filling up. He had a military look: shades, shaved head, square shoulders.
I went in and paid, and...
Daily
(the frequency with which I slip up and call Cancun Terence)
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distorte:
If you are looking for ideas for resolutions for the new year, you might try stopping telling me films that are terrible are good. 2009 has been very trying.
Just finished 500 days of summer and the one thing I can tell you with absolute certainty is that you should never name your children after seasons.
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We are going to see family today.
Me: how do I look?
Mom: fine
Mom: OOH YOU'RE WEARING SHOES!
(USC was my safety school)
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exactly where did Kevin McCallister get all those mannequins?
I just accidentally ate the chocolate out of the advent calendar for tomorrow. I thought it was the 20th. I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do now but I hope I don’t qualify for a coal filled stocking.
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“Due to the fear of the plague, the people of Europe feared catching the disease...”
– 8th grade essay (via summartime)
It all makes sense now.
Christmas List of Ideas I Sent My Mom (because she...
socks that always stay together a vacuum more furniture (used, preferably - less wasteful) time/energy to cook every day the ability to talk with animals a swim team that practices at a time/place I can attend seasons 1-4 of it’s always sunny in philadelphia on dvd gilmore girls box set Hero to be immortal 500 million dollars so I can buy you a really cool house and maybe one for me too ...
lesson of the day
if you are using the office printer to print a recipe to take with you to the market on the way home, it would serve you well to copy and paste the recipe portion into a word document, so as not to print all 47 pages of comments too.
editors note: you = me.
also, this happened today
lady who works in my office building who loved Terence: is that your new puppy?
me: yes, would you like to pet him?
lady who works in my office building who loved Terence: oh he's so cute, another black lab, what's his name?
me: his name is Cancun
lady who works in my office building who loved Terence: AHAHAHAHHA THAT'S HORRIBLE HAHAHA HAVE FUN WITH THAT!
me: :(
This happened in my home town. →
it’s pretty freaky
This is the first Friday I've had to work in...
The internet is exceedingly boring on Friday afternoons.
12/3/09
I just realized one of the monthly reports I have to make (and reuse) every month had been labeled “May 2009 Reconciliation” for seven months.
Excuse me while I pat myself on the back for a job well done.
